I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
