I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
