If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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