you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
