So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize