____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
