When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
