That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
