Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
