if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
