you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I think we might need a safe word for this...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
