On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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