yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
