peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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