for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
