come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize