at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize