She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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