There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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