i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
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He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
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The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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