belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
