Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
