my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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