okay pat passed out under dana's car
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
