Tell her she can't have a vagina
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
