well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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