so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
