whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
