I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
