those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
