I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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