the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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