If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
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Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
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