Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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