there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
