I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
