The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize