But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
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totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
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So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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