I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
