Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Be still, my beating vagina.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
