HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
