I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.