It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.