I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?