At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
