I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
