So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
