my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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