There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
