Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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