check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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