I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.