We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
This Girl Makes Latte Art Thatâ€™s Too Cute to Drink
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!