Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops