we have pet lesbian snakes
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
pray to the hookup gods