If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Ladies don't puke and tell
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
