you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
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and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
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Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first