dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
