Who wears a wallet chain?!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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