I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sorry about my life...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize