piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
