Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
