so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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