The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
