i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
