Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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