I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
