If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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