i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
