he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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