this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
