she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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