When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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